Monday, September 19, 2005

Thinking


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There are times when you think that you have it all figured out. You prime your entire life to be someone and then you get the opportunity to and you realize that what you thought you were meant to is just a distraction from what you want to do. I am confused about my career choice as it stands and I am not really sure how to logically think through it. I am a double major but I am more science than music. I always thought that I was meant to be a doctor. I am doing well in all of my science classes and I have no reason to be unsure but as I have begun to think more about my future and my past I have realized three things: One is that all of the people that I consider to have had the most influence on me and whom I care about the most are musicians, two is that the effect these people have had on me is the effect that I eventually want to have on someone else, and three that since I have started college my interest and enthusiasm for music has grown considerably and my interest in the sciences has dimenished dramatically. I don't understand though. Music comes way harder for me then science does. I don't know what to do. I feel like Either way I am going to let someone down and more importantly that person would be me.

2 Comments:

Blogger Michelle said...

Don't stress about it. My greatest teacher used to say, "Don't do music if you are happy doing anything else." Meaning, if you would be happy just playing for a hobby, then do it that way.

HOWEVER, if you are unhappy when you are not doing music, pay attention to that. How long can you go without it? Do you get nervous if you go too far without a lesson? Sounds like an addiction, huh? In a way, it is. I've quit music several times, through frustration or financial incentive, but I can't stay away for long.

There is nothing easy about music! It isn't supposed to be easy. It is very hard work. It is just that, when we achieve mastery, it looks easy. That is one of the earmarks of artistry.

Also, NEVER live YOUR life according to someone else's opinion. It is yourself you have to live with...

8:55 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

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8:55 PM  

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